Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I haven't been confession before, but I feel like I need to. This is something that I feel I can't speak to anyone else about...
//It must be something quite troubling to bring you here, my child. What is it you seek?//
[[continue->02]] My best friend got murdered. It all happened so quickly, I'm not even sure I remember 100% what even happened. I just remember being in the park, next thing I know there are gunshots and then everything became a blur. I can only solidly remember waking up in the hospital and being told my friend didn't survive.
[[continue->03]]//That sounds very troubling my child.//
[[continue->04]]I need your help, Father. Recently, it became known that one of the men involved had the charges dropped against him and walked away a free man. I'm battling myself, I want revenge and I want to make him suffer as much as //I// suffered, as much as my friend suffered. I want him to feel the same pain, but I know that's bad. I know I shouldn't act on it, but it's hard, Father. It's so hard.
[[I understand how difficult that must be for you, my child->G1]]
[[You must not act upon impulse->B1]]
[[It's human nature to want to give anguish to those who have hurt us->N1]]You have no idea, I still wake up every morning checking my phone waiting for texts from them. It's getting harder and harder each day that moves forward.
[[I once lost someone close to me.->N3]]
[[It must be hard for you->G3]]
//My child, when we have been hurt it is only in human nature to want to act upon our emotions to those who have brought us immense pain. That emotion is something we struggle to control.//
[[Continue->N2]]I understand that, but knowing these feelings are something that I am unable to control don't help the situation at hand. I want to do something, I want to know how to not have these emotions. I want to know how I can stop them, or at least make them less strong. These thoughts are bad an I recognise that, but it's so hard to not act on them.
[[I lost someone dear to be aswell->N3]]
[[Repenting can help you->B3]]
[[That must be very difficult for you->G3]]
//I lost someone I loved a while ago. I lost my Mother. It was with her death that I came closer to God. Knowing that she found peace helped me heal. It might help you, my child. God helps us heal in ways we could never think of.//
[[Continue->N4]]//I understand how difficult it must be for you, my child. It's never easy on anyone when they lose the person they hold the closest, and most dearest.//
[[Continue->G2]]How do you think God could help me heal, Father? I've never reached about before, apart from today. I'm not much of a believer, so I'm not sure if even attempting to reach out will even help.
[[Our Lord works in mysterious ways->N5]]
[[He can help us find peace->G5]]
[[He can help you when you recognise the thoughts and actions you are having need to be repented->B5]]
//The lord works in mysterious ways, my child. Not in ways that you may think. Perhaps you coming here today was a sign from him to begin your journey. A journey that ultimately will heal the open wound and help you find peace with what has occured. //
[[Continue->N6]]You think me coming here was a sign that I am ready to begin my healing, father?
[[I do, my child->N7]]
[[Perhaps, your friend lead you here->G7]]
[[Your feelings are a sign that you need to be here->B7]]//I do, my child. I think he bought you here for this reason in particular. Perhaps it's finally time to begin this journey. Perhaps it's time to start finding your peace with God. Finding your peace with your friends death. Beginning to find peace within your soul.//
How do I even begin to start this journey, father?
[[These thoughts are evil and you need to recognise that->B7]]
[[Comfort->G7]]//Despite the anguish you might feel, you must not act upon impulse. For that would only curse your immortal soul to damnation.//
At this point I don't care about my immortal soul, Father. I want them to hurt as much as they hurt me. They deserve it. Haven't you ever lost someone father? Haven't you ever wanted to let rip at the world for taking them away?
[[I did lose someone close to me->N3]]
[[Regaurdless, don't risk eternal damnation->B3]]//Regaurdless of your feelings and what you wish to do, placing that curse upon your immortal soul cannot be worth the risk. Pray to our Lord that you will find strength in this trying time and repent for the thoughts that may cost you an eterninity in hell.//
[[Continue->B4]]//That must take it's toll on you, my child. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. I am so sorry that this happened to you, and happened to your friend. There is some true evil in the world that can try to push us onto a path of wanting revenge, and wanting those to hurt us, hurt even more.//
Really? I came to this church for help, not to be told that I will go to hell for these thoughts and feelings. You think that is going to help me in anyway shape or form? I knew this was a bad idea, all you preists are the same. Always the first to cry damnation when you're faced with an actual problem. When you're faced with a situation you cannot handle. I wouldn't of come here if I knew that this would be the 'advice' I would recieve.
[[Have faith, the Lord works in mysterious ways->N5]]
[[These feelings need to be repentented against->B5]]
[[I believe you coming here, was for help, but not in the way you think->N5]]It hurts every single minute of every single day. Not being able to see his smile, hear his laugh anymore. It breaks me more and more with every day that passes. Every single thing I do reminds me of him. Every //single// thing. I can't do anything without feeling that sadness bubble in the pit of my stomach. I want to scream, I want to cry. I want to cry until I can't talk. It hurts so much, Father.
[[Perhaps, you were meant to come here ->N5]]
[[I believe you coming here was a sign->N5]]//I can only imagine the whirlwind of emotions you must be struggling with at the moment. I, myself, know them all to well. Perhaps not to the extent you have them, but I can understand the feelings you are struggling with. I understand the pain you must feel. Our lord can help us find peace with this.//
[[Continue->G6]]Heh, I struggle to even think at times, Father. Everytime I close my eyes, the scene plays out. Everything feels so real again. I see him in my dreams. I see him, Father. He's covered in blood, he's screaming for help. It plagues me, but... last night was different. In my dreams he was quiet, he was stood right in front of this church. Do you think that was a sign, Father? Do you think I was being told to come here?
[[Perhaps he did to help you Grieve->G7]]
[[I believe it was a chance to help you->G7]]
[[I do. I think he needs you to find peace with our Lord->N7]] //Crying for repentance for your eternal soul is an action that must be done to save your soul from damnation, my child. Acting on these impure feelings and thoughts will only cause your soul to become tainted with evil. It will consume you and ingulf you until you drown in it's claws. You need to repent and find peace with God.//
[[Continue->B6]]And to find peace with god, I need to repent against my natural human emotion? I need to repent against my sadness? To repent against my anguish, my pain? To repent these feelings of grief? Is that the solution? To repent to some deity that probably doesn't exist and 'save' my soul from evil? Is that all your priests care about? You don't care about others thoughts and feelings? You just care about screaming at us to repent? You just care about scaring us with tales of damnation and evil? Don't you think that the Lord has bought me here for any reason?
[[I do, I believe this is the start of your journey->N7]]
[[These feelings of revenge are the beginning of evil->B7]]
[[Revenge could taint your immortal soul->B7]] //Having these feelings is a sign that you were meant to be here. These feelings are the start of evil beginning to surface within you. This revenge you want is only going to curse you. It's only going to turn you soul to black and taint you. I'm trying to protect you, my child. I'm trying to help you repent so that your soul is saved.//
[[Continue->B8]]//Perhaps your friend bought you here for other reasons aswell, my child. Perhaps he bought you here to speak with me. To help you grieve in a safe enviroment. Perhaps he knew that you needed to speak to someone.//
[[Continue->G8]]So these feelings are nothing but, //evil// and that's it? Nothing else to it? Just bad? Everything I feel is bad?
[[You need to repent these thoughts and feelings->B9]]
[[Learning to accept these thoughts and feelings can be the start of a journey->N9]]
[[You need to protect yourself from the evil dwelling within you->B9]]//We start our journey with acceptence. It can be very hard to accept the death of a loved one, especially one you hold so dear. It can be hard to accept the emotions that follow with it, but often we are able to come to terms with it and find peace upon acceptance. Our lord can help us in this manner.//
[[Continue->N10]]//These thoughts you are getting are evil. These feelings are fuelling the thoughts and possible actions you wish to take. You need to protect yourself from them, you need to protect your immortal soul from the lurking evil. You need to repent so that our lord can cast judgment and rid you of these heinous and downright cruel actions.//
[[Continue->B10]]So to begin to heal, I need to accept his death? Am I not to grieve? How do I turn to god in a situation such as this?
[[You need to let the lord in->N11]]
[[The Lord always is listening->N11]]
[[Maybe you've already let him in by coming here->N11]]So that's really it? Oh yes, let's repent these thoughts! Let's repent these emotions! You're all the same! Repent this and damnation that. Do you not care for anything other than your own self? Do you not care for anything than you precious beliefs that let millions of people die a day!?
[[Letting the lord into your life can help you->N11]]
[[Do not let these feelings consume you->B11]]
[[You can recieve the help you wish, if you seek to let the Lord in->N11]]You really think so? I had to be bought here so I can speak about this? Do you really think it's that simple? What even am I supposed to do?
[[Sometimes, acceptance is the key to over-coming such traumatic events->N9]]
[[Confiding in another can help these thoughts and feelings->G9]]
[[It's a difficult situation, but speaking about them can help in some cases->G9]]//Letting the lord into your life is very easy, especially if you've never done it before. He will always listen to you. No matter where or when. He will always listen. Perhaps he is already here, because you have come here.//
[[Continue->N12]]//Sometimes, in situations such as this. Confiding in someone can help lessen the strong emotions that plague you. Can help lessen the thoughts of actions you wish to take.//
[[Continue->G10]]I'm not sure I've ever really spoken to anyone about this, not even my family members. I've not uttered a word to anyone to be honest.
[[If you speak, the Lord will always listen->N11]]
[[I'm proud of you for coming here today->G11]]
[[There will always be someone to listen here, if you wish->N11]]//My child, you need to repent against this. Do not let the sin of wrath consume your soul. You cannot let it control you. Repent my child.//
[[Continue->B12]]You know what? I've had it! I've had it with your self rightous and Condescening manner! I came here for help! Not for you to lecture me on saving my immortal soul! I wanted comfort, I wanted help, but yet here I am sat listening to you attack my emotions! I'm sat here letting you rip your own tainted claws into my flesh and making me feel worse for things I couldn't help!
[[Continue->B13]]You all care for nothing but yourselves! You all revel in making yourselves feel better for being 'sacred' and 'holy', but you came from the same shit as the rest of us! You aren't some high and mighty force to be reckoned with! You are nothing but, a mere little worm hiding in the soil and using your faith as an excuse to berate others and make yourselves all feel better in your little circle jerk because, you worship some magical man in the sky!
[[Attempt to reply->B14]]//Do not let your emotions bec-//
[[Continue->B15]] SHUT UP!
[[Continue->B16]]I am talking and don't you DARE try and interrupt with your religious bullshit! Don't dare try and tell me to repent! Don't you DARE try and tell me that repenting is the only way to help me! I've had enough of it! I've had enough of you trying to push me into crying for forgiveness for something I feel! I've had enough of YOU!
[[Continue->B17]]Every single person like you is the same! It was the biggest mistake coming here. It was the biggest mistake to think that this place built on lies could help me in any manner! I was stupid to think that I could actually recieve help! I was stupid to think that someone like you even knows how it feels to be in my position!
Repenting isn't going to bring him back! Repenting isn't going to make the man who walked away free, suffer! He will never know the suffering he caused if I do nothing but sit and repent!
[[Continue->B19]]Thankyou for absolutely nothing! I'm going to do myself a favour and take an extract from your Holy Book. I'm going to find myself a flame bladed sword and strike down him who hurt me. Smite he who took my friend from me. It's the least he deserves for everything he has done. It's the least he can recieve for the hurting he caused! As your so called 'Lord' is my witness! I will strike him down where he stands! There will be nothing but ashes were he stood!
[[Continue->B20]]-Person leaves the confessional booth-So you're saying, that even just praying, can help get him to listen to me? It can help me?
[[You'd be surprised->N13]]
[[You need to let the Lord into your body and soul->B01]]
[[A small prayer can go a very long way->N13]]// I am, my child. You'd be surprised. Just a small prayer can go a very long way. Of course, the church is also here to help guide you and help you along with your journey.//
[[Continue->N14]]//I am very proud of you for coming here today, it must of taken alot of strength to head the call and come to speak with me.//
[[Continue->G12]]You're actually proud of me? You're not going to shun me for my thoughts or feelings? You're not going to force me to repent for these?
[[Of course I'm proud->G13]]
[[You are grieving, it takes alot to find help when you are so destraught->G13]]
[[You need guidance->G13]]//Why would I shun you in your time of greiving my child? It is now more than ever you need guidance and a hand to help lead you forward to the safest destination. Your thoughts and feelings are something that needs to be respected. I am here for you to speak too, my child.//
[[Continue->G14]]Father, do you think,.. perhaps, my friend has gone to heaven.. and now has eternal peace?
[[I think he would of, especially if you knew he was a good person->G15]]
[[I can't say, the afterlife is a very tricky situation->N15]]
[[Of course->G15]]I appriciate that there is somewhere I can turn to if I begin to struggle. Do you think if I made a prayer for my friend, that he would get it? That he would hear me?... Do you think he's gone to heaven? or.. do you think he's not gone to heaven and is stuck in some kind of limbo?
[[It's difficult for me to say->N15]]
[[I think he is, and that he watches over you->G15]] //I think he did. Especially if he had such a caring friend like you to guide him through his life. Death is something that alot are scared of, but it is also something can bring us great peace when we move on. Your friend might not be here anymore, but he is probably looking down upon you now and is probably proud of you for speaking about this.//
[[Continue->G16]] //It is difficult for me to say, as I did not know him personally. I do think that if he did. He is now at peace and has found that eternal bliss that we recieve when we reach our Lords domain.//
[[Continue->N16]] That's understandable, I just guess, no matter where he has gone... I'm scared of never seeing him again. He was a very good person in life. He never did anything wrong to anyone. He was the most loving and kind person I had ever met. So gentle and never took too much and never gave back. He put his all into people he loved.
[[I think if he was pure of heart->N17]]
[[I don't think the Lord would keep you apart->G17]]
[[His actions are the key to where his soul would of gone->N17]] I think he would be proud too, it took all my strength to come here. Do you think I'd ever see him again? I really want too,.. I want that hope that one day we'll be re-united.
[[I think you will, the lord knows your grief and your pain.->G17]]
[[If you don't act on your impulse of violence, I think the possiblity is very high->G17]]
[[If he was pure of heart, I am sure you will->N17]] //The Lord would never keep two souls that are so fiercely intwined away from eachother. Especially after the bravery you have shown coming here today to speak about such a difficult topic for yourself. The Lord must have a special place right next to your friends side, waiting for you for when you reunite.//
[[Continue->G18]] //He will listen to you, if you put the effort in to pray to him. He will listen if you let him in completely. Into your heart and your soul//
[[Continue->B02]]So you're saying, I need to begin to completely give myself to him. My entirety for him to listen to me?
[[It will help your case->B03]]//It would definately help you if you did. The Lord can only enter your life if you do give your soul and your everything to him.//
[[Continue->B04]]I'm not sure how to feel about that. I don't think I'm ready to do anything like that just yet. I just came here for help, not to be turnt to a religion... Do you think my friend is finding peace in heaven?
[[It's difficult for me to say->N15]]
[[I am unsure->B05]]
[[I did not know him, so I cannot say->N15]]//I am myself not sure, as I didn't know him, nor knew what temptations he indulged to in life. Nor do I know whether this was a consequence of his own actions, or if it was an action from someone he had wronged. It is very difficult for me to say as I have no knowledge of the actions he did before his death.//
[[Continue->B06]] That isn't exactly a comforting answer, Father. I was hoping for at least a little bit of hope that I might see him again.
[[He has a place if he was pure of heart->N17]]
[[I apologise, but I simply do not know->B07]]
[[You might see him again->N17]] //If he was pure of heart, I have no hesitation that he found peace in our Lords kingdom, my child. His actions are key as to were his soul resides//
[[Continue->N18]] //I am sorry I could not offer any comforting words for you, my child. All I can do is plead with you to let the Lord in so your place in his kingdom is garunteed. If your friends place isn't garunteed, you cannot let yourself fall onto the same path.//
[[Continue->B08]]He was pure of heart. I know he was. He never did bad, but these emotions in me are strong. I don't know where he is, and I don't know if I can control these violent thoughts in my mind. What do I do?
[[Our Lord has a way of seeing that those who do wrong, don't go unpunished->N19]]
[[Not acting on these thoughts, can see you and your friend in eternal bliss together->G19]]I guess so, maybe coming here was the best deicision I made. I already feel abit more comforted, Father. I guess being told that he is no longer suffering helps me alot, however that revenge still lingers in the back of my mind. I don't know if I can ignore it.
[[Don't make a permenant solution to a temporary thought->G19]]
If your only concern is me, I don't think you've been listening to me at all, Father. It sounds like you're just reading stuff from a script.
[[Continue->B09]] //If your friend is in gods kingdom, not acting on these thoughts can give you both eternal bliss together once you are reunited. This action would be a permanant solution to an a temporary thought. Be at peace knowing that the man who walks free will get his comeuppance for hurting an innocent soul. Our Lord has ways of not letting people like that walk free.//
[[Continue->G20]]//You need not fear this thoughts, as they will pass. Our Lord has his own way of making sure people who deal harm onto others won't walk away without a justified punishment. Rest well in knowing your thoughts will pass and that our Lord will deal a punishment fit for the man who walked away free//
[[Continue->N20]]Knowing that he will recieve punishment, makes me feel better. I just couldn't let him walk free. Everything in my body said that,... I needed to just to feel like my friend didn't die in vain. I needed to know that.
[[Continue->N21]]//You and your friend, can recieve the rest of eternity together if you don't act upon your thoughts. An eternal bliss in the kingdom of the sky. You both will reunite, as long as you don't act.//
[[Continue->G21]]I think you're right, I think these thoughts were something that just boiled up under all my grief and sadness. I can't believe I was so close as to act upon these violent thoughts, all because of the grief I have endured. Knowing that there is a chance for me and my friend to spend eternity together makes these thoughts worth nothing. I want to thankyou Father, for helping me see this and for steering me off a path that I was so close to walking.
[[Continue->G22]]//You're welcome my child, and as penance for your thoughts, you may say five 'Hail Marys'//
[[Continue->G28]]//I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.//
[[Continue->G30]]//Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.//His mercy endures forever.
[[Continue->G31]]//You may now leave in peace, my child.//
[[Continue->G33]]-Person exits the booth-I regret even having these thoughts. I'm so stupid for actually thinking about seeing them through. I'm so so stupid for almost acting upon them. Thankyou Father, for helping me see that it would of been so harmful for me to react in such a manner.
[[Continue->N22]]//My Child, you need not thank me, but thank the way in which our Lord works. Those unjust will recieve his punishment.//
[[Continue->N23]]You're right. I am now to celebrate my friends life, and not seek revenge for his death. I am regretful that I even thought like that in the first place. I seek penance Father.
[[Continue->N24]]//My child, as penance for your thoughts you must speak 5 Hail Marys.//
[[Continue->N30]] //I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.//
[[Continue->N31]]//Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.//
[[Continue->N32]] His mercy endures forever.
[[Continue->N33]] //You may now leave in peace, my child.//
[[Continue->N34]] Thankyou, Father.
[[Continue->N35]] -Person exits the booth-...
[[Continue->B010]] You know what? This was a waste of my time. Thanks for nothing.
[[Continue->B011]]-Person Exits the booth-